Almost everyone has friends,
though the term is rather hazy when you consider how it can apply to someone
you've only recently met and still hardly know, or to someone you've known and
loved for many years. Still, the rules are pretty much the same if you want to
be a good friend to those people in your life who consider you one of theirs.
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| courtesy yahoo |
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1 - Understand Your Role.
One of the keys to being a good friend is to fully understand what your role is
in the relationship. If you and your friend are both single than your role is
likely to be greater than if either or both of you are in serious relationships
or have kids. The point is, you need to understand what it is your friends
expect from you and vice-versa. You need to understand how much of yourself you
can and are willing to give and how much to expect from your friends. There
needs to be an understanding on both sides, or there will be hurt feelings if
and when someone doesn't come through.
2 - Listen. One of the best things friends can do for each other,
is listen. Well, listen and care about what is being said. Far too many people
think friends are for listening to them, while they themselves don't have to do
too much of it themselves.
3 - Don't go too far. In every friendship there are boundaries that
have to be adhered to. If you cross them, it hurts the friendship, sometimes
irreparably.
4 - Don't give too little. In every relationship there is give and
take. People give of their time and attention, their money or their love, and
take of the same. To be a good friend means to find the right balance of all
these things, being careful to not give too much or too little or you might
mess up the whole balance
5 - Be supportive. One of the things people expect most out of a
friendship is support for their decisions and actions. Generally this support
comes in the form of verbal acknowledgements and positive feedback. But it can
also come in the form or actions, like driving them to a hospital or a job
interview. To be a good friend means to offer support when it is needed,
whether you agree with the decisions or not.
6 - Be honest. In any kind of relationship, honesty has to be
present for that relationship to be good and healthy for both parties. This
means not lying about things of course, but also being honest about what you
are willing to contribute to the relationship and what you're not.
7 - Don't gossip about them. Hard as it is to believe, some people
seem to expect that they can maintain friendships even after gossiping about
their friends with other friends. Don't do this. This is not how good friends
behave.
8 - Have set boundaries. Again, as with any other type of personal
relationship, it's important that both parties set up boundaries and then make
the other aware of them. For example, you might let it be known that you will
not ever lie for your friend, no matter what. Or you might tell them that you
won't be available after ten o'clock unless there is an emergency. Boundaries
are necessary so that both parties know what to expect from the other, and more
importantly, what not to expect.
9 - Keep their secrets. Just as its completely wrong to gossip
about a friend, it is also wrong to divulge things a friend has told you about
in private. In short, if you want to be a good friend, keep the secrets you
hold together, secret.
10 - Be dependable. Finally, good friends are dependable. Within
limits of course, or as mentioned earlier, within the boundaries you've set.
But the bottom line is, be there for your friends when they need you, and if
you tell them you will do something, do it.
Apply and let
me know the results.thanks
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