The institution of marriage in Nigeria was once known to be a
sacred one; getting married was only for people who were ready to work it out,
at that time, there were no exit plans rather it was ‘For better for worst’
even though the words ‘FOR BETTER FOR WORST’ were not pronounced on the
intending couples by the priests or pastors, rather by the parents and family
of the bride and groom, but it sank into their brains.
Marriages are supposed to be between two people i. e the
bride and the groom and not between the bride, groom and social media/world.
Westernisation has taken over Africa’s once revered culture, our heritage are
being replaced by the culture of the west; wives want to become the man of the
house and husbands are becoming complacent by abandoning their God’s ordain
roles/responsibilities to the wife; this role reversal has not even helped the
west and therefore cannot help us as Africans. The Irony of it is that we
constantly imbibe that which is bad from the west, while they struggle to want
to be like us (AFRICANS) especially morally.
Back to the crux of the matter, what Tiwa Savage and her
estranged husband, Teebillz, are currently facing in their marriage are normal
situation that an average couple face every day in their marital life. Theirs’
was only over-bloated by social media and the so called ‘celebrity status’,
social media have become celebrities’ parents, councillor, they are quick to
make personal issues public without taking a look at the likely chain reactions
that will follow; Social media don’t resolve issues, they aggravate it, users
or followers go there to have fun and not to solve problems, unfortunately,
people don’t get it!
My parents for example were married for about 47 years before
the demise of my mother and I can testify that there were times they used to
have quarrel that will make them not to talk to each other for sometimes, there
were times they even went physical but they were able to resolve their marital issues
without making it public ;the highest they ever went on this conflict road was
to get a few trusted family members involved with the total commitment to
resolving whatever differences they had
and it was a happy ending.
If you give a permanent solution to a temporary problem, it
will always result to more disaster and that is how marriages are being handled
by Nigerian Celebrities these days. A frustrated Teebilz should not have any
reason to rant insults on his wife on social media no matter the level of
provocation; calling her a slut, cheat, her mother a witch and other derogatory
names is very unnecessary because this is a family affair and it should remain
within the family.
More so, in these days of internet, people should realise
that whatever that is put on the internet remains forever, no matter how you
try to take it down. It becomes much complicated when the fighting couple have
children who may be taunted by what their once love-birds parents’ remarks in
future.
Funke Akindele, Princess, Toyin Aimakhu, Doris Simon, Fred
Amata etc are some of the celebrities whose marriages went the route of Tiwa
and Teebilz, but their marriages exploded on the altar of gossips aggravated by
social media and they are never fixed.
There are successful celebrities who have been married for
years; Omotola Jalade despite the on and off controversies surrounding her
marriage, she and her hubby have been able to manage it by not responding to
everything on social media. A classic examples of successful celebrities’ in marriage in Nigeria
are; Olu Jacob and Joke Silva, Tunde and Wunmi Obe who have been able to keep
their marriages out of the social space, not that they don’t have their
differences, at least we don’t get to read them on social media which does no good
to marriages.
Let me quickly chip in this, until we start to demystify the
fact that wedding day is more important than marriage itself, Tiwa and Teebilz
situation will continue to be replicated in celebrities’ marriages. Let us not
forget the fact that all these celebrities whose marriages are crashing like
aeroplane that lost its altitude had earth shaking weddings that were the talk
of the town, but never lasted. Some even crashed in less than three months e.g,
Princess (The Comedienne) marriage lasted for only three months while Funke
Akindele’s marriage only lasted for about seven months. These shows that some
of these celebrities are always carried away in the euphoria of publicities
than realities, they don’t see marriage as responsibilities, rather a
necessity.
Finally, marriage is between two people and for it to stand
the test of time, it should remain so. Celebrities must stop publicising their marital
issues on social media; celebrity is just a status and therefore must be
separated from their home just like work-life is different from family-life.
Marriages must not only be seen from the angle of necessity, it must be entered
into with total commitments by the parties involved and it must be crowned by
love.
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