You hear it all the time, how women say they always seem to attract the "wrong" kind of guy and wind up either unhappy or hurt, especially if it turns into a long term relationship. Well, this article by S.E. Jones, ten tips for the single girl on how to stop dating the wrong kind of guy, can help.
1 - Look at yourself. It's true that guys look for certain things in a girl. If you take a hard look at yourself, what would you say guys see in you? If you look like the type of girl that guys can get away with treating badly, then you're likely to attract guys that do just that. This is not the end of the story though, because there are no laws that say just because a guy is attracted to you, for whatever reasons, that you have to go out with him. If you are the kind of girl that attracts the wrong kind of guys, then start ignoring those guys until you figure out how to attract the right kind of guy.
2 - Listen to others. One of the ways that girls get themselves involved with guys that don't treat them well, is ignoring what others have to say about a guy. If your friends and family warn you that the guy isn't a good match for you, listen to them. Their ability to judge the suitability of a guy is not colored by an infatuation with him and thus their advice will be based purely on what they see in him.
3 - Be smart and brave. Generally after you're with a guy for awhile, it becomes pretty clear if he's a good choice for you. If you don't think he is, walk away. There is no good reason to stay with someone that is the wrong kind of guy for you, and a lot of reasons to not. So, be strong, smart and brave and do the thing you know you should.
4 - Take an inventory of him. Once the possibility of dating a guy becomes clear, take a personal inventory of the guy. Do it logically; pushing your emotions to the side for a moment. What's his history? How does he treat other people he's known for awhile? What does he do for a living and how does he spend his money. These and more are the sorts of things you should ask yourself before dating him.
5 - Look at other things. Being attracted to a guy makes it hard to see his faults, but try to look at them anyway. What other things besides how he looks or excites you do you like? If the list is pretty short, walk away.
6 - Use logic instead of emotion. This is something you should do with any guy you meet and are considering dating. What would someone do that wasn't attracted to him? Ask yourself if someone you know who doesn't date the wrong kind of guy would date such a guy. Ask yourself how you would feel introducing him to your friends and family. Look at him as a possible person in your life for a long time. If any of these questions cause you to feel uneasy, then walk away. That is always an option, and one that should be used if there is any doubt.
7 - Listen to your inner voice. You've probably heard that little voice in your head on many occasions, telling you you're making a mistake. Listen to that voice, even if you worry that it may be due to hesitancy or fear. That wee small voice in the back of your mind is trying to look out for you. Listen to it.
8 - Work on your self-esteem. One of the reasons women end up with the wrong kind of man is that they lack the self-esteem necessary to pass on the wrong kinds of guys. This is especially true if they feel like the guy looks better than they thought they might ever get. The thing is, you don't have to settle for someone who is less than you want just because you think you're not worthy of something better. So, work on your confidence in yourself. Do things that give you a good chance of success. Work on your appearance and compliment yourself. Take a self-help course or read books by knowledgeable authors. In short, do whatever it takes to make yourself realize that you are someone who is worthy of someone better.
9 - Be choosey. You don't have to date the first guy that asks you out; or the second or third, etc. You don't have to go out with someone on a second date out of guilt or worry you'll hurt their feelings. You don't have to do things the guy requests. Be choosey about who you go out with, and only go with those you think really have a chance of being the right kind of guy for you.
10 - Learn to say no. A lot of women have a lot of trouble saying no to guys; whether it's when being asked for a date or more. This quite obviously can lead to a lot of trouble. The solution is to practice saying no to other people who ask for other things. Also, practicing only males in the family can help as well. And finally, try saying no right off the bat to some guy that hits on you, or asks you for anything, whether you want to say yes or not. In short, get in the habit of saying no to people when you don't want to do whatever it is they ask.
These ten tips for the single girl on how to stop dating the wrong guy, can be used by pretty much any girl who thinks she always seems to be winding up with guys that are wrong for her. If you are such a girl, I hope these tips help. Good luck.
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